FINALLY, A Junior Senator From Minnesota?

The Minnesota courts have made their decision regarding counting the questionable absentee ballots from the U.S. Senate race, and the news is not good for Republican incumbent Norm Coleman:

In a potentially decisive ruling, a panel of three judges today ordered up to 400 new absentee ballots opened and counted, far fewer than Republican Norm Coleman had sought in his effort to overcome a lead by DFLer Al Franken.

The ballots also appear to include many that Franken had identified as wrongly rejected as well as ballots that Coleman wanted opened.

Currently Al Franken holds a 225 vote lead, which means that unless my math is off (and it very well could be, it was my worst subject in high school), Coleman would have to get 313 out of the 400 ballots--78.25% of them--in order to take the lead. And if Franken wanted some of these ballots counted, it could very well mean that Franken will emerge from next week's count with an even wider lead.

Now, Coleman could appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court, or try to have the whole issue removed to be tried by Bush-appointed judges in the federal courts (on what grounds I'm not sure, but I'm sure his lawyers could come up with something). But if he's smart, and truly is considering a run for Governor of Minnesota in 2010 as is rumored, then once the ballots have been counted he needs to respect the will of the voters. How long should Minnesota go without a second senator?

Let me be among the first to wish a Mazel Tov to Senator Al Franken!

Loose, Lewd, Singing Women

I often question whether or not it's appropriate for me to weigh in on strictly Israeli issues, ones that are not directly related to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I'm an American, after all, and I realize that I can't possibly understand all of the intricacies of these issues. But this one both eerily mirrors what's happening in the U.S. and provides an example of something I can't quite reconcile with my Jewish identity.

One more preface--I'm not an observant Jew, at all. In terms of observance, I'm actually one of the worst Jews you'll ever meet. I make a pretty damn good teriyaki-glazed pork chop. However, the issues of halachic law both confuse and fascinate me.

In Israel a few weeks ago, about 100 religious soldiers got up and walked out of a Brigade assembly, for the sole reason that the event featured a female singer performing for the group (who happened to also be a soldier and member of the brigade), because for men to hear a woman singing might apparently cause uncontrollable lust:

This month's incident occurred two weeks ago in Haifa, when the Paratroop Brigade was marking its service in the recent Operation Cast Lead in Gaza. The event featured a short performance by male and female singers, both members of the brigade, who performed the brigade anthem.

At that point, soldiers from the hesder program, which combines yeshiva study with army service, left the performance, after notifying their commanders. Several officers wearing skullcaps did the same. No disciplinary action has been taken against those who left.

Sources in the army rabbinate said that halakha supports the soldiers' decision to leave. The rabbinate has urged commanders to show sensitivity in such situations and either to excuse religious soldiers in advance from attending any portion of a ceremony that poses a problem or to simply not feature female singers at such programs.

But the army's chief education officer, Brig. Gen. Eli Shermeister, called the incident a "worrisome phenomenon" that "should not be accorded continued legitimacy." Events like this are designed to foster group cohesion, he explained, so allowing some participants to leave would defeat the purpose.

Israeli newspaper Ha'aretz weighed in on the issue over the weekend, citing the dangerous influence of fundamentalist rabbis:

Israeli society, including the IDF, has undergone enormous changes since the founding of the state. The official melting pot, with its strictly secular character, has given way to softened multiculturalism. Extremist elements who seek to impose a racist, chauvinist, separatist and dangerous agenda on the army and the state exploit this shift. The defense minister must stop this destructive process, revise the IDF's regulations and redefine the army as an institution belonging to the entire society.

First, this does mirror incidents we hear about in the U.S. military, with evangelicals actively proselytizing and harassing soldiers who don't toe the Christian right line.

But such incidents are much more dangerous to the identity of the IDF. The IDF is maybe the most egalitarian institution in Israel. Not only are women conscripted into mandatory service along with men, they serve in combat roles and have the same opportunities to advance into the higher ranks. For couples in Israel, it's not uncommon for the woman to have held a higher position in the military than the man. It's one of those things that I find so unique and special about Israel, where women can have that opportunity.

I can certainly sympathize with soldiers who want others to respect their religious beliefs. But the question is, if you claim the right to walk out of this event, then at what point does it end? If they claim they can't be around women in this instance, then in what other instances do the rules apply? Are they going to claim later that women can't serve in the same brigades as men, because a combat situation might require them to touch a woman (also prohibited by halakha), or that they can't serve under female officers?

It's one of the Jewish laws that have never made any sense to me. If the men are so animalistic that merely hearing the sound of a woman singing makes them want to go out and rape someone, then why should the women be the ones shut up and kept inside?

Furthermore, this is a rule that not only doesn't seem to have any basis in the Bible, but is in fact contradicted in several places in the Bible. To wit:

And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances. And Miriam sang unto them: Sing ye to the LORD, for He is highly exalted: the horse and his rider hath He thrown into the sea.

Exodus 15:20-21. Since the Israelites were all together in the middle of the desert at this point, I'm guessing Miriam probably sang within earshot of Moses and the other men.

Then sang Deborah and Barak the son of Abinoam on that day, saying, Praise ye the LORD for the avenging of Israel, when the people willingly offered themselves.

Judges 5:1-2. I know that poem is just an allegory, but if the writer didn't think women should sing in the presence of men, then is it not at least a little significant that Deborah and Barak sang together?

And it came to pass as they came, when David returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with timbrels, with joy, and with three-stringed instruments. And the women sang one to another in their play, and said: Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

1 Samuel 18:6-7. Now here you could possibly argue that women singing to men did cause harm, as hearing the song is what pissed off Saul and got him conspiring against David. But I think it was what they were singing that was the problem rather than the fact that they were actually singing.

So no, as an American and a Reform Jew, I don't understand this. I don't understand a rule that seems to fly in the face of Biblical evidence. I don't understand why women should be punished for men's indiscretions, if that is the true rationale behind the rule. And I don't know where it stops.

Truth In Advertising

Glenn Beck of Fox Noise:

If you take what I say as gospel, you’re an idiot.

True dat.

Nashville Predators To Meet Key Attendance Figures

With only two home games remaining, barring a catastrophe, the Nashville Predators will end the season averaging more than 14,000 per game in paid attendance, thus allowing the Predators to receive full revenue-sharing from the NHL, which ensures that teams in smaller markets can have a payroll on par with those in larger ones. The news could not be more welcome in a time of economic downturn.

The numbers are not official as of yet, but as of March 24, paid attendance averaged 13,978. Since then, there have been two home games, against the San Jose Sharks and the Detroit Red Wings over the weekend. The announced attendance figures for those games stood at 16,562 and 17,113, respectively. Even taking into account the number of tickets given away by the team to various organizations, those two numbers alone would have been enough to push paid attendance to over 14,000. The Predators only have two home games left (Columbus on Saturday and Chicago next Tuesday), which will both likely sell out as they are against division rivals and as the Predators fight for position in the playoffs. The Predators are currently in seventh place, but only one point ahead of 8th place St. Louis and 6th place Columbus, making the game on Saturday particularly important. According to Predators blogger Forechecker, the team will likely average around 14,150 in paid attendance by the end of the season.

(On an unrelated note--how cool would it be if all five teams from the Central division made it into the playoffs? Is there precedent for that happening?)

Go Predators! Beat the Blowjackets and the Black Holes, and on to the playoffs!

Freeman Out As TNDP Treasurer

Probably for the best, via press release from the TNDP:

Tennessee Democratic Party Treasurer William H. "Bill" Freeman is stepping down effective immediately, Freeman and Chairman Chip Forrester announced today.

The decision comes as a result of several factors, Freeman said, including opposition to his appointment from some of the Democratic establishment.

"As I've made fund-raising calls in the last month, several long-time donors have expressed their concern to me that Governor Bredesen was not as supportive of me as I had hoped," Freeman said. "By resigning now, I hope I can take away some of the criticism the Party has faced recently and give Chip Forrester a better shot at rebuilding a relationship with the Governor and taking the Party in the direction that it needs to go."

I wasn't as concerned as others were about Mr. Freeman's previous Republican donations, but I'm still thinking this was probably needed. I'm not a huge fan of Bredesen right now, but there's no doubt that Democrats in Tennessee need to "circle the wagons" for the coming election cycle. If Mr. Freeman saw that he was a roadblock to that goal, then stepping down was the right thing to do.

Let's just hope that this leads to an actual reconciliation and not just more pouting and sulking.

Answer Me Two Questions

Even if your party had millions of dollars in the bank, why should they still not look for ways to cut down on costs and save money during the campaign "off-season"? Why should they pay $4,000 a month in rent when they can get a larger space and do the same job for less money?

If you run a business and run it smartly, you look for ways to reduce overhead even when times are good and profits are up, and much more so when times are not so good.

Also, if one of the central criticisms of your party is that it's too tied into the Nashville elite, then does it not help your cause to move your base of operations into a less "elite" part of town? Most of the base within Nashville does not live downtown, or even in the "more desirable" parts of town, so why not go where your base is? The Republicans do, the TNGOP headquarters is in Green Hills, not downtown. I haven't heard their legislators or downtown connections complain about having to drive ten minutes down 21st Avenue, so it won't kill anyone to have to drive 10 minutes down I-24. Seriously, you won't die.

The only people who would think that the party does not need to get out of the West Nashville bubble are those who think it beneath them to have to go to those "bad" parts of town east of Green Hills, west of Belle Meade, or north of downtown. Places like Antioch are just so icky and tacky to those folks, so better to keep it out of sight and out of mind!

My advice to anyone who wants Democrats to do well--try getting your asses out of the southwest Nashville bubble sometime and actually take a look around. That means going to neighborhoods that don't have a Whole Foods or a Starbucks. Folks outside of the bubble are hurting, but their needs have been ignored for a long time. And yes, that does include our working men and women who have organized themselves in an attempt to stop the "race to the bottom." The opportunity is there, but y'all are afraid to take it.

Feel Good Friday--Havering To You Edition

I have no idea what "havering" means, but regardless, this is about as Feel-Good of an early 90s song as you can get:

Tennessee--Trailblazing In Wingnuttery

Because the lawsuits over Obama's birth certificate weren't enough, now someone in East Tennessee (the only natural origin of such an action) has filed a lawsuit in federal court for the Eastern District of Tennessee accusing President Obama of treason (apologies for the link to WorldNutDaily):

An ex-military officer has raised the stakes in the ongoing dispute over Barack Obama's eligibility to be president, filing a criminal complaint against the "imposter" with the U.S. attorney's office for the Eastern District of Tennessee.

Retired U.S. Navy officer Walter Francis Fitzpatrick III, who has run a campaign for two decades to uncover and try to correct what he believes are criminal activities within the military, accused the president of "treason."

Here's a logical knot for the birthers though. The statutory definition of treason is that "whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason". 18 U.S.C. § 2381.

But if Obama is not a citizen (and therefore not "owing allegiance to the United States), as they're alleging, how on Earth could he possibly commit treason?

Y'all might want to settle on one legal argument, or at least on ones that don't immediately contradict themselves, before you do this. Just a thought. Because blatantly false accusations will get you fined, at a bare minimum.

The Bestest Idea Ever

Mmm...kosher donuts....

The Simpsons have been to Australia, Britain, France and Japan, but now they could be taking on their greatest challenge - bringing peace to Israel and the Palestinians.

Multiple media sources have quoted the show's executive producer, Al Jean, as saying that America's number one animated family will head to the Holy Land next year.

"I think we're going to do one next year where they go to the Holy Land as we haven't been there yet. The premise will be that the Christians, the Jews and Muslims are united in that they all get mad at Homer. It's the only thing they can agree on," Jean said.

When this happens, it will be an occasion to clear out everything on the TiVo since this will be worth preserving forever. "The Simpsons" have been lagging behind "South Park" somewhat in recent years in terms of cultural relevance, but is still funny. But the Simpsons going to Israel will be a pop culture event.

And if there's one person who could force all the different groups to put aside their differences as they unite in anger, it would be Homer Simpson. I'll bet he does something like knock over the Western Wall.

Concurring And Dissenting

In writing for the City Paper, Adam Kleinheider states that when Senator Dewayne Bunch made a Nazi reference on the floor of the Senate, it was a stupid gaffe and the fact that he said it to a Jewish senator, Andy Berke, shouldn't matter:

Now, Godwin's Law is certainly a well-crafted axiom. Trying to hang the noose of Nazism around political opponents is a truly tiresome tactic. That sort of hyperbole is the last refuge of a man with little to offer in terms of solidly grounded argument. Invoking Nazism in any modern political debate should earn the speaker a cornucopia of askance glances.

The problem in this case is that progressive activists and the state's Democratic Party did not turn their fire on Bunch because he resorted to amateurish and sophomoric debate tactics. Charges of Nazism and comparisons to fascists are all too common in modern political discourse, on both sides of the partisan divide. The word ‘Nazi’ is not what brought the media scrutiny to this party. It was the fact that Sen. Berke is Jewish.

Now on the one hand, I agree with ACK. It shouldn't have mattered whether the remark was made to someone Jewish, Christian, or Buddhist, it was a dumb thing to say, and that's what should have been called out.

But there is something deeper and less obvious here that bothers me, and it's something I have difficulty putting into words, so bear with me. It doesn't have anything specifically to do with this, but it hints at what may be to come.

Senator Berke has formed an exploratory committee to run for Governor, and has also been touted as a possible candidate for Zach Wamp's seat in Congress. Regardless of what office he runs for, he will be in the public eye quite a bit next year. Whatever he does I'll be campaigning for him 110%. Even in Chattanooga he represents me far better than my own senator (Doug "Combover" Henry) does.

And with a high-profile run will come attacks from the other side. It's hard to figure out how exactly they'll go after him--he's well-liked, well-respected, articulate, doesn't come off as a crazy hippie lib'rul, and (as far as we know) doesn't have any skeletons in the closet.

But there is one thing they can still point out. They won't make outright anti-Semitic attacks on him (much as I don't like Robin Smith and Bill Hobbs, I believe they're probably too smart for that). But they can still make him look like an "other".

"Not one of us."

"Obviously doesn't share our Christian values."

Of course it doesn't come off as anti-Semitic in the Christ-killing or money-grubbing sense, but it's just as pervasive. It's internalized, simply pointing out that a Jewish person in Tennessee, even one who's been here his or her whole life, does not truly belong, is not truly "one of us". We already saw Nikki Tinker try to do it against Steve Cohen last year, only this time around it'll be far less obvious and won't involve a racial element. But you don't see it just in politics, you see it everyday. Most of the time it's not necessarily ill-intentioned, but it's always there.

Now, it could very well be that I'm just being overly paranoid. Maybe everyone will wage a campaign on the issues and leave the innuendo out of it. I'd like to believe that. But I'm guessing it's probably too big of a dogwhistle for someone to not pick up.

So what does this have to do with Senator Bunch's remarks? Not a whole lot. But if people are being overly sensitive to what they perceive as anti-Semitic remarks against Senator Berke, it could be because the time to be wary of such remarks may be coming very soon.

Wherein I'll Start Crying Like A Baby

I was a voracious reader as a child. I hate that these days all I have time to read is the newspaper and law casebooks, but when I was little I read any book I could get my hands on.

But there was one that I loved all above others. That I never stopped loving even as I got older. A book I once saw an illustration from painted on a mural outside a jewelry store in Ithaca and it brought a huge grin to my face everytime.

And now they're going to make a movie out of it! And I will be first in line, and crying like a baby the whole way through:

Poll: Most American Jews Oppose Fascism

Pro-Israel pro-peace organization J Street has released a new poll tracking the opinions of American Jews on the current state of affairs in the U.S. and in Israel. And in what will surely come as a disappointment to the Republican Jews who support every war as long as their own kids don't have to fight it, the reality is that the large majority of American Jews support peace. The most interesting finding--although American Jews approved of the recent Gaza incursion by a 3:1 margin, 59% believe that it will either not increase Israel's security or will make Israel less secure. In addition, 69% believe that the U.S. should negotiate with a joint Fatah-Hamas government.

Some other highlights:

Q.7 Do you approve or disapprove of the way Barack Obama is handling his job as president?

Total Approve: 73%
Total Disapprove: 27%

Q.9 Do you approve or disapprove of the way Barack Obama is handling the Arab-Israeli conflict?

Total Approve: 72%
Total Disapprove: 28%

Q.10 Now, we would like to rate your feelings toward some people and organizations, with one hundred meaning a VERY WARM, FAVORABLE feeling; zero meaning a VERY COLD, UNFAVORABLE feeling; and fifty meaning not particularly warm or cold. You can use any number from zero to one hundred, the higher the number the more favorable your feelings are toward that person or organization. If you have no opinion or never heard of that person or organization, please say so.

Barack Obama:
Favorable: 74%
Unfavorable: 23%

Democratic Party:
Favorable: 67%
Unfavorable: 30%

Republican Party:
Favorable: 23%
Unfavorable: 72%

Hillary Clinton:
Favorable: 70%
Unfavorable: 26%

Sarah Palin:
Favorable: 23%
Unfavorable: 73% (hey, by the way, thanks for handing us Florida on a silver platter last November!)

Q.32 Now, something different. Do you support or oppose the United States playing an active role in helping the parties to resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict?

Total Support: 88%
Total Oppose: 12%

Q.33 (Among those who Support) Would you support or oppose the United States playing an active role in helping the parties to resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict if it meant the United States publicly stating its disagreements with both the Israelis and the Arabs?

Total Support: 86%
Total Oppose: 14%

Q.35 (Among those who Support) Would you support or oppose the United States playing an active role in helping the parties to resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict if it meant the United States exerting pressure on both the Israelis and Arabs to make the compromises necessary to achieve peace?

Total Support: 81%
Total Oppose: 19%

********************

In addition to supporting an active U.S. engagement to bring about peace, most American Jews also oppose fascism in Israel, and realize that a final agreement is going to involve sacrifice on both sides:

Q.58 As you may know, Israel had an election earlier this month. The party receiving the third largest number of seats is led by Avigdor Lieberman who has previously called for the execution of Arab members of Israel's parliament who met with Hamas and whose main campaign message called for Arab citizens of Israel to sign a loyalty oath to the Jewish state in order to prevent their citizenship from being revoked. Do you support or oppose these positions?

Total Support: 31%
Total Oppose: 69%

Q.60 From what you know about Israeli settlements in the West Bank, do you support or oppose expanding these settlements?

Total Support: 40%
Total Oppose: 60%


Q.62 Eight years ago, Israeli, Palestinian, and American negotiators came very close to reaching a final status peace agreement, but ultimately fell short.

The details of that agreement include: a demilitarized Palestinian state in the West Bank and Gaza; internationally recognized borders that include some land swaps allowing for most Jewish settlers in the West Bank to be inside Israel while the Palestinians get comparable land areas in return; Palestinian neighborhoods in Jerusalem become part of the new Palestinian state while Israel retains control of Jewish neighborhoods and the Western Wall in Jerusalem; international forces to monitor the new Palestinian state and border crossings; and financial compensation for Palestinian refugees while allowing some refugees to return to Israel if they meet specific family reunification criteria and the Israeli government approves.

Do you support or oppose such an agreement?


Total Support: 76%
Total Oppose: 24%

************************

There was another interesting statistic toward the bottom of the poll. 58% of Jews do not belong to a synagogue, and 72% either don't attend formal services or only go a few times a year (i.e. for the High Holy Days, weddings, and Bar Mitzvahs). Looking at the results from this poll, it's not hard to infer a reason why that might be. The "leaders" who "speak for" American Jews remain woefully out of touch with those they ostensibly represent. How often were we told back in 2003 that, despite widespread opposition to the Iraq War among the Jewish community, that anyone who didn't support the war obviously hated Israel? The small neo-conservative minority, who have the most money and scream the loudest from their enclaves in the Upper West Side and West Palm Beach, are the ones who are represented instead. That's why so many mainstream Jews, particularly younger ones, want nothing to do with these organizations.

Although I'm sure someone will come up with a way to blame this poll on intermarriage or something.

God Vs. Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal, February 24:

Jindal singled out "volcano monitoring" as an unnecessary frill that Democrats stuck in the recently adopted stimulus package.

"Their legislation is larded with wasteful spending," Jindal said. "It includes ... $140 million for something called 'volcano monitoring.' Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C."

God, March 22:

The Alaska Volcano Observatory was ready with warnings to flight officials when Alaska's Mount Redoubt blew five times Sunday night and Monday morning, sending potentially deadly ash clouds north of Anchorage.

The volcano, about 100 miles southwest of Alaska's largest city, blew at night and even after sunrise was socked in by clouds, obscuring dangerous ash that can clog jet engines and knock aircraft from the sky.

However, readings from seismometers and atmospheric pressure sensors alerted scientists that an eruption had occurred. Weather radar confirmed the presence of an ash cloud that ascended more than 11 miles above sea level.

"Without instruments in the ground, we would not have been able to tell you this was coming," said John Power, a geophysicist with the U.S. Geological Survey at the Alaska Volcano Observatory.

God WIN. Volcano-monitoring WIN. Bobby Jindal EPIC FAIL.

Watch now as the Sarah-cuda up in Wasilla backpedals like a mad woman on rejecting the stimulus money.

If This Had Been Said About Laura Bush

Can you even imagine what the outcry would have been?

The burning question in my circle is: if the First Family gets a female dog, will she be the First Bitch or will she have to settle for second place?

But no, because it was said by a conservative writer about Michelle Obama, the reaction will instead be "Oh come on, it's just a joke, lighten up!"

Get it? Because "bitch" has two meanings. Har har.

If that's the case, however, I expect to hear nothing more about the President's admittedly stupid comment about the Special Olympics.

Democratic County Reorganization

Every two years, the Democratic Parties in each county of Tennessee hold reorganization meetings to elect new board members and get more people involved. The meetings also help evaluate the effectiveness of each county party and foster communication between county parties and activists. Although I'm sure some idiot out there will claim that TNDP Chip Forrester "ZOMG DROVE OUT THE COUNTY CHAIRS!" and blame him for any new person who gets elected, the truth is that county reorganization is a regular occurrence.

The county reorganization meetings will take place over the next two weekends. To find out where your county party is meeting, you can see the schedule here. If you're interested in running for a position yourself, you can fill out the form here.

Who knows--maybe those who spend their days wringing their hands about how the TNDP is so screwed and how Chip Forrester is just the worst person to walk the face of the Earth since Judas Iscariot could take five minutes off from Post Politics in order to participate in a county meeting (assuming they are real Democrats and not just Republicans trying to cause trouble). Since they apparently do know what's best for the Democratic Party going forward, perhaps they could come out from the shadows, make their case, and actually participate at the county level.

I'm not holding my breath though. Anonymous trolling is so much easier than actually putting yourself out there.

Davidson County is, for some reason, not holding a reorganization meeting at this time. But there are some big races in other counties to watch. There is an extremely competitive race for Shelby County Democratic Party chair--so tight, in fact, it drew our friends LeftWingCracker and Vibinc into conflict last week. And over in Washington County, young Democrat Jordan Huffman, whom I met on the Ford campaign, is running for Vice-Chair.

Good luck to everyone running!

Bellevue Blues And Liquor Stores

Gail Kerr:

No Mapco here went bust because groceries also sell beer.

On Highway 70 South in Bellevue, there's a Mapco right next to the Publix. Both of them sell beer, and neither one is putting the other out of business. For those who just want to run in and grab a case for a party, the Mapco is more convenient. But if you're the one throwing the party and need to actually buy groceries, it doesn't make sense that you should have to go somewhere else besides the Publix to do all your shopping. The Mapco was selling beer there before they built the Publix and has continued to do so. And for the record, we have no liquor stores in Bellevue anyway. If wine were sold in that particular Publix, the only store they'd be competing with would be the Kroger further up 70S. Hey FourSquare people, that's what we need at the new Bellevue "lifestyle center", assuming you're still planning on building it. A halfway decent liquor store would do well there.

(And yes, I'm aware that liquor stores are completely different from gas stations. But the truth is that selling beer and other convenience items, or providing on-site mechanical services, is where gas stations make the bulk of their profits, not from gasoline. They generally just break even on gas sales, and may lose money on it when prices are high. So theoretically, a large drop in beer sales would hurt, badly).

But smaller gas stations are able to compete with grocery stores because a) they each serve a different market niche and b) the gas stations have an advantage in that they can charge less. And likewise, the advantages that liquor stores will still have over grocery stores are many, including a) continued exclusive sales of hard liquor, and I doubt that wine is more popular than Jack Daniels in this state; b) exclusive sales of more expensive, harder-to-find, or geographically diverse wines, in addition to the ability to sell by the case; c) a more knowledgeable sales staff; and d) the new ability to be able to sell beer and alcohol complements such as mixers and glasses under the legislation.

This bill is going to bring in millions in revenue, without raising taxes. So why, after years of studies and hearings on this, would we want to delay it again?

Feel Good Friday--Legal Research Edition

I have my Legal Research final in 16 hours, after which this will be the only thing I remember from that class. It's an excellent video that demystifies the complex, intricate mysteries surrounding statutory history:

NCAA Tournament Picks

The NCAA Tournament kicks off in one hour, so for all of you slackers out there who haven't finished your brackets yet, here are some last minute picks for you.

Now, the best piece of advice I can give you is to not worry about 75% of the advice you get, even mine. While obviously no one should ever pick a 16 seed to beat a #1, from that point on it's all speculation. Even the talking heads on ESPN don't know any better than you do.

With that being said...

MIDWEST--Indianapolis

Louisville certainly deserved the #1 overall seed, and should not face any serious competition until the Sweet 16. In the first round, I predict that #10 USC will upset #7 Boston College (although really, I don't consider 10-over-7 wins to be true upsets). Look for West Virginia to go far, they were probably under-seeded at #6 and are playing as well as anyone right now. And although I wouldn't recommend picking a 14 over 3, North Dakota State is hot right now and could very well give Kansas a run for their money.

Final Four Pick--Louisville

WEST--Glendale

My #14 Cornell Big Red will take on #3 Mizzou tomorrow (at the same time as my Legal Research final, natch). I picked Cornell to win in my secondary bracket, although I wouldn't recommend putting money on it. I hope that at the very least, with a year of tournament experience under their belts from last year, Cornell will at least avoid the blowout this time around.

Otherwise, Maryland could be a potential sleeper, but I don't see them getting past Memphis in the second round. Purdue and Marquette will be exciting to watch. And don't count out a hot Mississippi State either. However, the set-up is in for what should be a thrilling Elite 8 matchup between UConn and Memphis, which Memphis as the angrier and hungrier team will win.

Final Four Pick--Memphis

EAST--Boston

Pitt will be the first #1 seed to go down, in the Sweet 16, possibly to Florida State. The trendy bracket-buster pick #11 VCU over #6 UCLA, but I'm not so sure (although if they beat UCLA, they'll go far). Look for #7 Texas to easily beat #10 Minnesota and for #14 American to give #3 Villanova all they can handle, as American did for Tennessee last year. Speaking of #9 Tennessee...sorry y'all, one-and-done. They will not beat Oklahoma State. Bruce Pearl is about to get a lesson as to the very very bad karma that you get as result of complaining about being seeded lower than you thought you deserved. Ultimately, this is Duke's bracket to lose.

Final Four Pick--Duke

SOUTH--Memphis

This is where I pick the requisite 12-over-5 upset to occur,with #12 Western Kentucky beating #5 Illinois. Western Kentucky is hot and Illinois limped into the tournament. Gonzaga and Oklahoma will be great in the first two rounds but will both go down in the Sweet 16, Gonzaga to UNC and Oklahoma to Syracuse. As much as I wanted to pick Syracuse, I believe that by the time we get to the Elite 8, they won't have any fuel left in the tank.

Final Four Pick--UNC

FINAL FOUR

Memphis over Louisville, UNC over Duke, Memphis over UNC to win it all.

An Open Letter To The American Idol Producers

Dear Nigel Lythgoe et al,

First of all, Memphis' own Alexis Grace was ROBBED tonight! Yes, I realize that you pretty much have to have one country music singer on the tour to get people south of the Mason-Dixon line to buy tickets, but Oil-Rig's novelty wore off several weeks ago.

But I want to address something else, something that was said last night after Adam Lambert's rendition of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire":



After Adam performed, Simon Cowell told him that he should never come to Nashville, and that everyone in Nashville was probably throwing their TV sets out the window at that moment.

Here's my question--why do you assume that Nashville is monolithic when it comes to musical tastes? Even within country music, there's quite a lot of diversity. Not everyone enjoys the bubblegum commercial music that comes from the major record labels. Personally, give me the guy busking on Broadway and Second Avenue over half of Music Row anyday.

Johnny Cash himself spent his whole career going against the country music mainstream. It never came up during the critique, but Johnny Cash even did a remake of "Hurt," a Nine Inch Nails song, in the final year of his life. He influenced musicians across different genres. I wouldn't speculate as to whether or not he would have liked Adam's version, but he was someone who certainly would have appreciated a little originality.

Adam Lambert, I don't care how gay you are, that performance was sexy! You can come visit us in Nashville anytime! Who needs Music Row when you have Elliston Place/Church Street/East Nashville? We'll go to Tribe and Exit/In!

Slurs And Free Speech

Jew for McCain extraordinaire Jackie Mason was angry that someone called him out for his use of the word "schwartza" to describe Obama in a stand-up routine. For those of you who don't know Yiddish, "schwartza" is the Yiddish equivalent of the n-word (and don't tell me it's not. I have several relatives who throw that phrase around and I have NEVER heard it used positively, or even neutrally, always negatively. It's usually used with the adjective "dumb" or "stupid". It's not a neutral word, it's one that very clearly connotes inferiority).

Yes, Chris Rock makes fun of white people in his stand-up routines, as did Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy before him. Do you know why they got away with it? Because unlike Jackie Mason, they're actually funny! Besides, I've seen Chris Rock perform before--while he certainly makes fun of white people (as he does every other ethnic group--he makes fun of his own more than anyone), he's not doing it to offend anyone, just making observations about how crazy everyone is. Really, the only instance in which I can remember Chris Rock using the word "cracker" was in a sketch that was actually pointing out how racist old black men could be (WARNING: The following video is about as work-unfriendly as you can get).



But using a word like "schwartza" is not an attempt to be funny or make a witty observation, but specifically to offend. It's not funny, especially to those of us Jews who grew up after segregation and view African-Americans as something other than "the help."

Mr. Mason, while it may be within your rights to use that word (the First Amendment allows you to use it without fear of being arrested, but doesn't shield you from fallout among your peers) allow me to explain why you shouldn't use words like "schwartza".

You shouldn't use those words because you are nothing more than a God-damn dirty, greedy, money-grubbing, Christ-killing, hooked-nose KIKE who uses the blood of Christian babies to make matzoh and would certainly sell out America to Israel for thirty pieces of silver.

There you go. Always remember that free speech cuts both ways.

Waiting On A Hero

Some apparently informed (and anonymous and unaccountable and for all we know actually uninformed) insiders have told the Washington Post that Mike McWherter, rather than Andy Berke or Kim McMillan, will be the most likely Democratic candidate for Governor in 2010:

Tennessee (D): Although Gov. Phil Bredesen (D) has been in office for the last eight years, there is a remarkably thin bench of Democratic prospects in the Volunteer State. The most likely nominee, according to informed insiders, is Mike McWherter, the son of popular former Gov. Ned Ray McWherter. A spirited primary is shaping up on the Republican side with Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam, an heir to the Pilot Oil fortune, considered the frontrunner.

McWherter would be a good candidate, in terms of name recognition and West Tennessee base. His previous statements don't provide anything objectionable.

Except...

I know I can't be the only Democrat who was more than a little peeved that he waited for so long in 2008 to announce that he would not be running for Senate. It was a costly tease--by that point Bob Tuke had said he wouldn't challenge McWherter in the primary, but the announcement forced Tuke to rush back in and build up an operation with very little time. I still don't think Tuke would have necessarily beaten Lamar! even if given a better opportunity, but there's no doubt that McWherter's delay hurt his chances.

So what's he going to do now? Is he actually going to run, or is he going to "wait and see" again?

I have no patience for this level of indecisiveness. I may sound cliche or like a broken record by now, but time is a luxury we do not have in the 2010 cycle. Berke, McMillan, and Ward Cammack may not be household names at this point, but at least they're out there doing something!

In light of recent history, as of now I don't consider Mike McWherter a real candidate for Governor; I think that the "insiders" quoted in the article are at best merely speculating. If he is a real candidate, let's see some papers and some fundraising first.

(H/t ACK)

Wine And Weird Coalitions

According to The Tennessean, the legislation to permit wine sales in grocery stores may not receive a vote this year because, despite many hearings and attempts to bring this bill up in the past, the majority of legislators remain undecided on the issue.

It's a simple issue, really. If you believe that public policy in Tennessee should benefit consumers rather than lobbyists, support the bill. If you support less government control over consumer choices, support the bill. If you think that the market, rather than a small select group of distributors, should determine the cost of alcohol in Tennessee, support the bill. If you think that "mom-and-pop" liquor stores should be allowed to sell a larger variety of products (such as beer and mixers), in addition to maintaining their traditional exclusive niche on the sale of more expensive wines and hard liquor, support the bill. If you're observant enough to realize that underage drinkers generally prefer beer and that grocery stores ID customers as strictly as anyone else, support the bill. If, however, you receive lots of donations from the liquor lobby and would rather put their interests ahead of that of your constituents, then by all means oppose it.

But what's interesting is how, unlike everything else in this state, this is shaping up to be anything but a partisan issue. If anything, Democrats and Republicans seem to be dividing equally on the issue among themselves. In the House, 9 Republicans and 8 Democrats support the bill, 11 from each party oppose it, and the remaining 30 Dems and 29 Republicans are undecided. In the Senate, 3 from each party support it, 5 Republicans and 4 Democrats oppose, and the remaining 11 Republicans and 7 Democrats are undecided.

I wondered if maybe there was more of an impetus for urban/suburban legislators to support it and for rural legislators to oppose, but that doesn't entirely explain why one of the main opponents is a Republican from Chattanooga and the main House sponsor is a Democrat from Dickson:

“I’m a teetotaler and I’m not for anything that makes alcohol more accessible,” said Rep. Richard Floyd, R-Chattanooga.

Supporters note that the dozens of other states that allow wine in supermarkets haven’t seen adverse consequences.

“As people travel to other states, they realize it’s not uncommon,” said Rep. David Shephard, a Dickson Democrat and the main sponsor of the House version of the bill.

“People don’t understand why we have the three-tier system.”

In fact, I rarely find myself in agreement with Glen Casada, but to give credit where it's due, he apparently took a few moments off from filing frivolous lawsuits and legislating morality to make the best and most straightforward statement on the issue:

“It’s good for the economy, it’s the free market,” said Casada, of Franklin. “And it’s just so dadgum convenient.”

Dadgum straight!

However this turns out (although I won't be satisfied with anything less than this passing), it certainly is fascinating from a strictly political baseball standpoint. We seem to have struck the one issue that can't be easily broken down along partisan lines, where it's basically everyone for themselves.

On Bernie Madoff

While spending the weekend with the family, my aunt asked me why I hadn't posted anything about Bernie Madoff here. This question came on the heels of Friday night services in the synagogue of Brunswick, Georgia (which only gets a rabbi to lead services once a month), when the visiting rabbi from Atlanta led a discussion on the issue.

I didn't say anything because I didn't think there was anything more that really needed to be said. When this all broke back in December, it was an anti-Semite's Christmas come early--here now was a true physical embodiment of the stereotype of the greedy, money-grubbing Jew! And all we could do was shake our heads and hope for some form of justice for the victims.

But two recent discussions have made me realize that there is more that needs to be said on the topic. The first was a few weeks ago, when the Jewish Legal Society had a discussion session with the Chabad rabbi here on campus on Jewish laws regulating transparency and disclosure in business. In a nutshell, the law is be transparent in everything you do and disclose everything. Most importantly, the rabbi pointed out that according to the Talmud, lying to a Jew and lying to a Gentile are regarded as equally sinful. The rabbi also pointed us out to this cartoon, which makes that point in a very damning way.

That's what has bothered me the most about the whole discussion in the Jewish community about Madoff up to this point. I wondered, would everyone be as outraged or ashamed if Madoff had mostly screwed over non-Jews rather than Jews? He's not the first Jew to be caught up in a major scandal like this--look at Marc Rich, who arguably screwed over the entire country by making illegal oil deals with the Ayatollah during the 1970s. Yet many Jewish groups and pro-Israel groups still hold him up as a great philanthropist--a real mensch, if you will. But it's as though what Madoff did was worse because his victims weren't faceless Gentiles but rather Elie Wiesel and elderly Jews in New York City and South Florida.

I'm not in any way trying to minimize what happened or the suffering of the victims. All I'm asking is that we stop holding these people to different standards. Let's stop pretending as though we're somehow more moral and have less potential for corruption than any other community, and then acting shocked when reality smacks us in the collective face. I understand that if Jewish organizations were required to only take money from completely clean sources, they'd be even more broke than they are now. No one is completely clean. But let's stop covering up the corruption, and shed light on it instead.

Bear in mind, that's not me talking, that's the Talmud.

The second discussion raised another interesting point. The rabbi in Brunswick asked in the discussion what could have driven Madoff to cheat so many people, and someone in the congregation responded that Madoff must be a sociopath.

I strongly disagree (as did the rabbi). Madoff may have done a terrible thing, but he's hardly a sociopath. In fact, it's the exact opposite--he was a completely rationally thinking human being who, when given the choice between doing right or wrong, chose the one that would make him more money. Who are any of us to say that when tempted with that much money, we wouldn't have done something similar?

It would certainly be a much more comforting proposition to simply believe that he's purely evil, a monster even. But humans have free will, and can use that free will for evil as well as for good (such as another Jewish banker in Miami who, after receiving $60 million from selling his bank, distributed all of it among his employees). It's scary to think that this is something a rational human being could have done, but the sooner we accept the fact, the sooner we can try and stop tragedies like this before they happen again.

From The Cornell Fans

Screw BU, Mizzou too! Let's go Red!!

And by "Let's go Red", I mean I will settle for not getting blown out by 50 in the first round again!

It's so funny right now to listen to everyone here WHINE about Mizzou being put into the West region and having to play in Boise, despite winning the Big 12. Personally, I couldn't be happier about it--it means neither team will get a home court advantage as Stanford did last year, beating Cornell in Anaheim. Besides, Cornell people are used to playing sports in cold, middle-of-nowhere locales.

Hail, all hail, Cornell!

Support Tennessee College Democrats!

The College Democrats of America Alumni Association are raising money to donate to different state College Democrat chapters to hold their annual conventions. They've already donated $1,000 to the Michigan Federation of College Democrats, who applied for the money to help cover the cost of their convention. The CDAAA will now give $500 to one of the tw0 runners-up, either the New York College Democrats or your very own Tennessee Federation of College Democrats!

Come on people, don't let those Northern Yankees beat us for a second time! Give to the TFCD!

The full email, below:



Dear Friends,


Did you hear what alumni of College Democrats of America are doing this month? With your support, we're cutting three checks -- giving out a total of $1,500 to help with the state conventions of College Democrats across the country.

We received many applications from state federations of College Democrats, and the request from the Michigan Federation stood out from the crowd. We'll be presenting them with $1,000 to help house and feed students who will travel up to seven hours to get hands-on experience learning how to be better organizers with technology, traditional voter outreach, and media.

So who gets the next $500? It's up to you!

We narrowed down the field to two runners-up, New York and Tennessee. Both state federations made strong cases for why they need our help to make their conventions a success, and both are deserving of our support.

So we made them both a promise -- the College Democrats of America Alumni Association will match donations to each state federation up to $250 each. But the deadline to double the impact is this Monday, March 23.

Here's how it works. Pick your favorite -- New York or Tennessee -- and make a donation to that state's dedicated fundraising page -- and ask your friends and family to lend a hand! CDAAA will double what each state federation is able to raise on these pages over the next ten days.

As the former national president of CDA, I know what an impact grants like these can have on a state's ability to organize -- thank you for making a difference in the work of these College Democrats.

Democratically yours,

-Lauren

Lauren Wolfe
Former President, College Democrats of America
Board of Directors, CDAAA

Bellevue Blues--Dude, Where's My Mall?

To the surprise of absolutely no one, construction on the new "lifestyle center" on the site of the now-dead Bellevue Mall (well not entirely dead, Sears is still there I believe) will be delayed for a year:

With the recession bringing most major lending to a halt, the developer planning a $180 million overhaul of Bellevue Center mall has asked Metro for an extra year to pull a financing package together.

Under a deal made last summer, Metro plans to give Foursquare Properties $12 million to help pump new life into the stagnant mall.

In exchange, the California-based developer would use $4.5 million of that money to build a 32,000-square-foot public library on the premises by December 2010.

But Foursquare asked the city this week for a 12-month extension to its March 30 financing deadline.

Construction was supposed to start early this year, so considering that we haven't heard anything from FourSquare pretty much since the deal came together in August, this isn't at all surprising.

I want to see this all work out, I honestly do. Although I remain skeptical of whether or not having the library on the mall campus is a good idea, I'm willing to give it a shot if that's what it takes to redevelop that stretch of 70 South, since all the new development seems to be bypassing the area in favor of Highway 100 and Charlotte Pike. And at the very least, we'll get a real development on the site rather than more big-box stores.

But this news seems to indicate that we're not getting a new shopping center anytime soon, and maybe not at all. There's no indication that lending for this type of project is going to resume in the near future, certainly not for a high-cost, high-risk (one mall already failed in this location in the outskirts of town, after all) project such as this. And bear in mind, a good chunk of the funding coming from Metro has to go towards the library, something that won't generate profit for them or for lenders.

I want this to work out, but I remain pessimistic. The Bellevue blues go on.

Feel Good Friday--Big Red Edition

In honor of your 2008-2009 Ivy League men's basketball champions, the Cornell Big Red (the first team other than Penn or Princeton to win the Ivy League in back-to-back seasons in 50 years, mind you), here is the classic, "We Didn't Go To Harvard," sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire" by acapella group Cayuga's Waiters. I couldn't find a live version of it, so here's the audio with the lyrics:



Onto the NCAA Tournament! As a 14-seed at best, most likely a 15-seed! Hey, that's better than Vanderbilt!

Nice Knowing You, Mr. Steele

RNC Chairman Michael Steele, already facing a no-confidence vote for not properly kissing Rush Limbaugh's ass, gave an interview to GQ which reveals some very interesting positions that may not gel with the dittohead wing of the party. I'm just sitting back and waiting for hilarity to ensue.

(On an unrelated note, before I analyze what Steele said--has anyone else ever noticed that the writing in men's magazines, like GQ and Sports Illustrated and even Playboy, is far superior to that of women's magazines like Cosmo? Surely there has to be a magazine out there for smart women who appreciate a serious analysis of current issues, but who also like to read about fashion, makeup, and The 50 Hottest New Tricks To Try On Your Man Tonight!)

On homosexuality:

Do you think homosexuality is a choice?

Oh, no. I don’t think I’ve ever really subscribed to that view, that you can turn it on and off like a water tap. Um, you know, I think that there’s a whole lot that goes into the makeup of an individual that, uh, you just can’t simply say, oh, like, “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being gay.” It’s like saying, “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being black.”

The dittoheads, of course, would tell you that being gay is something you can simply pray away. Because if you acknowledge that being gay is an inherent part of one's identity, then all of a sudden justifying discrimination against them becomes a little more difficult, doesn't it?

On abortion:

How much of your pro-life stance, for you, is informed not just by your Catholic faith but by the fact that you were adopted?

Oh, a lot. Absolutely. I see the power of life in that—I mean, and the power of choice! The thing to keep in mind about it… Uh, you know, I think as a country we get off on these misguided conversations that throw around terms that really misrepresent truth.

Explain that.

The choice issue cuts two ways. You can choose life, or you can choose abortion. You know, my mother chose life. So, you know, I think the power of the argument of choice boils down to stating a case for one or the other.

Are you saying you think women have the right to choose abortion?

Yeah. I mean, again, I think that’s an individual choice.

You do?

Yeah. Absolutely.

He back-pedaled, as he is prone to do, in the next question by saying that it should be a "state's choice." Which doesn't quite mesh with what he says here, that it should be an individual choice. Can't wait to see some dittohead reaction on that!

On race:

All right, how much is being a black man gonna help you do that [make the party more welcoming]?

I have no idea. Because I still think there’s a degree of racism that exists out there that you still have to confront. You know, folks see me walk in a room, they don’t see the chairman of the Republican Party, they see a black man just walked into the room.

ZOMG he's playing the race card!!

Personally, I find this article refreshing. He's honest and willing to admit that his party made mistakes. I wish some Democrats would be as candid and forthright. But at any rate, you can stick a fork in Michael Steele, he's done. And it's going to be entertaining as hell to watch.

Keep Tennessee Singing

There's a new grassroots organization in Tennessee devoted to raising awareness of the effects of global warming on our fair state. Now, you may be thinking, "Don't we already have Al Gore for that?" But this group has a very specific purpose in mind:

Did you know Tennessee has more species of plants and animals than any other inland state?

It’s true! Tennessee is home to native wildlife species that include 278 birds, 76 mammals, 283 fish, 55 reptiles and 72 amphibians.

Unfortunately, the effects of global warming could lead to a significant reduction in the abundance and diversity of wildlife species and plant life. It's already impacting certain species, such as the song bird. Many of the songbird species we see and enjoy in nature are shifting their ranges and migrating earlier, often making it more difficult for them to find food. In some places, we may no longer see our favorite birds. It’s also threatens our health, economic development, jobs and pocketbooks, not the mention our beautiful environment.

I don't really get to hear songbirds in the morning in St. Louis--oh no, I generally get woken up by an ambulance. That is one small, but significant, perk of coming home to Tennessee.

Check out Keep Tennessee Singing on their website, Facebook, or Twitter.

How Many Dermatologists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Four--one to inject it with Botox, one to inject it with Restylane, one to laser away any remaining problems, and one to give a presentation about the efficacy of cosmetic dermatological procedures on lightbulbs, complete with before-and-after pictures. Now, the lightbulb may not necessarily work any better, but at least it'll look ten years younger! That is "changing" the lightbulb, no?

I just got back into town after spending the weekend with the family in San Francisco for the annual American Academy of Dermatology meeting. While I myself wasn't involved in the meeting (spending my time sight-seeing and shopping to bolster the American economy), it provided a fascinating insight into ways in which medicine and the law interact.

At these conventions, the only place where family members or guests are allowed into are the exhibit halls. These are massive rooms where every major pharmaceutical and cosmetics company in the country sets up huge, colorful booths to advertise their products. Adding to the carnival-like atmosphere (a carnival for really, really nerdy people anyway) is that you can get amazing free stuff at every booth.

Or at least you used to be able to. And still can in Europe, but not in the U.S.

Last year, the Department of Health and Human Services came out with new guidelines regulating what pharmaceutical companies can and cannot do at conventions like this. For years there have been complaints that the pharmaceutical companies were peddling influence by giving doctors lavish perks and gifts at these meetings, possibly creating conflicts of interest when it came to prescribing medication for patients. So the Office of the Inspector General in the HHS came out with a compliance program last year, essentially banning pharmaceutical companies from giving out perks at all (ranging from giving out pens and tote bags at their booths to offering luxury vacations) and limiting other activities, such as taking doctors out to dinner.

From my standpoint, I do agree with the intent of these rules. The vast majority of physicians of course put their patients' well-being above all else, so it's best not to allow even simply the perception of unethical behavior. Pharmaceutical companies, whose interests lie more with profits than with patients, should not be allowed to possibly influence this decision-making.

However, all administrative rules have loopholes, and I spent this weekend watching them unfold. The rules allow for pharmaceutical companies to provide educational resources--which means that they can still throw lavish dinner parties and receptions, and as long as someone stands up and gives a five-minute presentation about the new drugs they're testing, it's "educational" and thus kosher! Also, although this is a unique issue to dermatology, the new rules don't apply to consumer companies. So in the exhibit hall, while you could no longer get a nice tote bag from Stiefel (or laser-etched luggage tags like they gave out at one meeting in Europe), you could still go to the Neutrogena, L'Oreal, Clinique, Johnson & Johnson (Aveeno, Purpose, Lubriderm), Unilever (Dove, Vaseline), and Proctor & Gamble (Gilette, Olay) booths and get massive bags of free stuff. I now have more lotions and sunscreens than I know what to do with. But is that somehow less of a form of "influence-peddling" than giving out a tote bag or a pen?

I think these rules were well-intentioned. However, it's spawned an entire cottage industry of figuring out the loopholes. While this has certainly created plenty of work for lawyers on both sides, it doesn't necessarily improve the situation for patients. I say either regulate the pharma companies all the way, getting rid of the loopholes, or let them operate in the open again.

Terrell Owens To Tennessee?

I'm stuck right now in the Dallas airport as my flight to San Francisco for part of spring break has now been delayed twice. I passed by a shop selling Cowboys jerseys and laughed at the thought of buying a Terrell Owens jersey, since they're on sale really cheap now.

Maybe that wasn't so funny now. There's a rumor (a completely wild, speculative, and unconfirmed rumor--so in other words the best kind of rumor) going around on the Internets that T.O. and agent Drew Rosenhaus were spotted in the Nashville airport this morning:

EXCLUSIVE: Third-hand information you won’t find at PFT or NFP. Thanks to Mase Dog (presumably his real name, via reader Randy) for sending along a tip that Terrell Owens and Drew Rosenhaus were spotted at the Nashville airport at around 7 o’clock this morning. Could Eldorado be headed to the land of Titans? We say (without the slightest hint of journalistic credibility), YES! I mean hell, it’s not like they were there to check out the Grand Ole Opry with Peter King. TO will probably be a great influence on Vince Young, and a move to the Titans would bring him back to Tennessee, the state where he played his college ball.

It makes no sense on multiple different levels. Why would the Titans be interested in T.O., when a) they JUST signed a pretty damn good receiver in Nate Washington, b) they generally have problems with prima-donna players (for example, a certain cornerback who shall remain nameless, but who went by a video game nickname and had a propensity for making it rain in the strip club), and c) when even with a high-end wide receiver (like Derrick Mason), the Titans are still primarily a running team? That's why you wouldn't think T.O. would want to come here--if he was whining about not getting enough touches with a superb passing quarterback like Tony Romo, then why in God's name would he want to team with a QB who doesn't throw that often, period?

Still, it's hard to think of any other reasons why T.O. would have been in Nashville (since you're less likely to have a layover there than, say, in Dallas). It could all be complete BS. But baseless speculation is just so much fun!

Creative Justice

I like it:

The parent of a middle school wrestler won't go to jail for head-butting a referee, but he's been sentenced to umpiring the upcoming Little League baseball season.

That sentence was given to 40-year-old Bobby Glenn Williams of White Pine on Friday.

The Knoxville News Sentinel reported Williams pleaded guilty in Dandridge to simple assault and apologized for his outburst during a match between Maury Middle School and Jefferson Middle School on Tuesday night, but said he didn't head-butt the ref. He said his cap struck the official's head.

If the purpose of the criminal justice system is not just to punish the offenders but to rehabilitate them and make sure they don't repeat their crimes, then this is a perfect sentence. In fact, they ought to make every parent who throws a temper tantrum at their child's sporting events do this. It may be the only way to demonstrate that it's not just about your kid getting the ball or winning every time, but about all the kids who just want to play a sport.

Feel Good Friday--Closing Time Edition

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Cornell Alumni Smackdown!

Keith Olbermann smacks Ann Coulter DOWN for her weird, baseless, and dare I say elitist attack on undergraduate colleges at Cornell besides her own:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Forcing Babies To Have Babies

In quite possibly the clearest example of why those who will never have children for religious reasons should not make the rules for everyone else:

A 9-year-old girl who was carrying twins, and whose stepfather is suspected of raping her, underwent an abortion on Wednesday despite complaints from Brazil’s Roman Catholic Church. The stepfather has been jailed since last week, the police said. Abortion is illegal in Brazil, the country with the most Roman Catholics, but judges can make exceptions if the mother’s life is in danger or the fetus has no chance of survival. Fatima Maia, director of the public university hospital where the abortion was performed, said the pregnancy, which was in its 15th week, posed a serious risk to the girl, who weighs 80 pounds. But Marcio Miranda, a lawyer for the Archdiocese of Olinda and Recife in northeastern Brazil, said the girl should have carried the twins to term and had a Caesarean section. “It’s the law of God: Do not kill,” he said in comments reported by the newspaper O Globo.

And now it seems that the Church has excommunicated the girl's mother and the doctors who performed the surgery. No word yet on whether or not the stepfather (rape is a pretty big sin too, you know) has received any similar form of ecclesiastical punishment. He probably just has to confess and say a few Hail Mary's and then it'll all be cool with the Church.

I'm going to lay this out very clearly. A 9-year old who weighs 80 pounds cannot carry twins to term, or at least far enough along where she could have a C-section. It would kill her first. It's not even a question of the mother's life OR the babies' lives, none of them could have survived a full nine months. Her uterus was too small for even one baby, let alone two. The Church effectively told the girl to accept a death sentence for something completely out of her control.

This is all a tragedy. It's a tragedy than an unspeakable crime was committed upon an innocent young girl, and a further tragedy that she had to carry the results of that crime. This is why those who will never have to experience such a tragedy should not decide the policy for those who might.

Far Above Cayuga's Fake Waters?

I normally pay no attention to what Ann Coulter says, but maybe I should since she and Rush Limbaugh are apparently running the show across the aisle now. And I find her column from yesterday quite telling about what she actually thinks about Real Americans (TM).

There are several famous Cornell alumni that every Cornell student can name--Christopher Reeve, Toni Morrison, Janet Reno, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Ruth Bader Ginsburg (AEΦ), Keith Olbermann, Bill Maher, Lauren Weisberger (author of "The Devil Wears Prada" and also AEΦ), Ann Coulter, and Paul Wolfowitz. They usually don't mention the last two on the campus tours, but we all know about it.

So one Cornell alum (The Coultergeist) has a problem with how another Cornell alum (Olbermann) mentions his Cornell education. The reason is because Keith Olbermann apparently did not go to the "real" Cornell:

Indeed, Keith is constantly lying about his nonexistent "Ivy League" education, boasting to Playboy magazine, for example: "My Ivy League education taught me how to cut corners, skim books and take an idea and write 15 pages on it, and also how to work all day at the Cornell radio station and never actually go to class."

Except Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell.

The real Cornell, the School of Arts and Sciences (average SAT: 1,325; acceptance rate: 1 in 6 applicants), is the only Ivy League school at Cornell and the only one that grants a Bachelor of Arts degree.

Keith went to an affiliated state college at Cornell, the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (average SAT: about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina; acceptance rate: 1 of every 1.01 applicants).

"Affilliated state college"? Uh, CALS is not "affilliated" with Cornell, it's one of Cornell's seven undergraduate colleges, very much a part of Cornell. Three of Cornell's colleges (including CALS) are funded by the state of New York (Cornell itself was founded under the Morrill Act as a land-grant college to teach subjects like agriculture), while four of them are not. I was a student in the College of Arts and Sciences, which is "private," and I'm guessing that's where Ann Coulter was too, since she would have certainly failed out of Engineering, Architecture, and even the Hotel School, which generally requires you to have decent people skills.

Most of my friends outside of A&S were in CALS. They studied business, communcation, and yes, animal sciences and dairy science. And they were not any less smart nor any less deserving of the name "Cornell" on their degrees than those of us studying political science. Many of them were on work-study so actually had to work harder than those of us in A&S.

In all fairness, Coultergeist says she has nothing against aspiring farmers or veterinarians in CALS. But even so, they still go to only an "affiliated school," to a fake "Old MacDonald Cornell", and they have an "average SAT about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina". She may "admire" them, but she sure as hell doesn't believe that they can say that they go to a "real" Ivy League school.

As Coultergeist attacks Olbermann for his alleged elitism, she reveals herself to be nothing more than a Connecticut snob looking down her nose job at smart students from upstate New York.

What I Want For My Birthday

There are six hours left in my birthday, so someone still has time to get me this!

It's a pink dolphin. I MUST HAVE a pink dolphin.

An Argument For Wine

It appears that everyone else is blogging about wine in the grocery store today, so I will add my two cents.

One of the main arguments against allowing wine to be sold in the grocery stores is that it will lead to more teen drinking. Even though beer is already readily available in just about every grocery and convenience store in the state, somehow allowing those same stores to sell a more expensive form of alcohol that you can't buy in a 24-pack case will mean that the teenagers will turn away from cheap beer in favor of wine. The liquor lobby has even created a front website, "Stop Teen Drinking Tennessee" as a a way to emotionally appeal to Tennessee voters while hiding their true agenda, retaining the traditional privileges of package stores.

First, 33 states, including five that border Tennessee, allow for wine sales in grocery stores. If there were a spike in underage drinking incidents and DUI arrests following the legalization of these sales, it should be fairly easy to demonstrate. But the liquor lobby has put forth no study nor any evidence indicating any causal relationship between wine in grocery stores and teen drinking. That's because, and I say this as someone who was probably a teenager far more recently than anyone in the liquor lobby, if the kids are going to attempt to buy alcohol or get someone to buy alcohol for them, they'll go with beer. You can get more of it, more cheaply.

But for the sake of argument, let's say that kids in states that allow wine in grocery stores do attempt to buy it on occasion. I live in one such state, Missouri. Missouri allows the sale of both wine and hard liquor in the grocery store (although the Tennessee legislation only applies to wine, Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker will remain the exclusive domain of package stores). I buy wine on a fairly regular basis, and can recall doing so in at least three different grocery stores--Schnuck's (our main chain here), Straub's (the smaller "gourmet" grocery store near my apartment), and Whole Foods.

And guess what? I have been carded. Every. Single. Time.

Granted, I realize that I look like I'm 12 (especially nowadays when going to school means carrying an L.L. Bean backpack and a lunchbox), but they card everyone, even people who are obviously of age. Missouri law mandates ID checks (Mo. Stat. Ann. § 311.328), as does the proposed Tennessee legislation. And they are very strict about enforcing it here--no one wants to risk losing their liquor license. I imagine that Tennessee grocery stores, given the higher level of scrutiny they will be subject to under this legislation, will be similarly vigilant.

There are certainly many other reasons to support wine in grocery stores--convenience for consumers, more exposure for Tennessee wineries (I've noticed that all of the grocery stores here stock lesser-known Missouri and Illinois wines), and liquor stores won't be adversely affected--serious wine drinkers, as well as those purchasing malt liquor, will still shop with them, and they would benefit from being allowed to sell mixers and beer under this legislation.

But please don't confuse the issue with teen drinking. That's just a way to deflect the true intent of those who oppose wine in grocery stores, which is to keep Tennessee stuck with an antiquated system that inconveniences consumers for the benefit of a few wholesalers.

Hot Christian Porn

Kind of an oxymoron, no?

Not exactly, according to a new study from Professor Benjamin Edelman of Harvard Business School looking into which states consume the most porn:

Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama.

Church-goers bought less online porn on Sundays – a 1% increase in a postal code's religious attendance was associated with a 0.1% drop in subscriptions that day. However, expenditures on other days of the week brought them in line with the rest of the country, Edelman finds.

Residents of 27 states that passed laws banning gay marriages boasted 11% more porn subscribers than states that don't explicitly restrict gay marriage.

The number one porn-consuming state was Utah, followed by (oh goshdarnit!) Alaska. Apparently not even the sight of Sarah Palin holding a gun quite does it for them. They are followed by Mississippi, Hawaii, Oklahoma, Arkansas, North Dakota, Louisiana, Florida, and West Virginia. Always one to buck national trends, Tennessee ranked near the bottom, but I'd say that has less to do with our porn subscriptions and more to do with how we must always be at the bottom of any state surveys.

I think more research is probably needed on this--it seems to be a pretty strong correlation near the top, but the correlation fades towards the bottom. I'd be interested to see what the results would be if they ran the study a second time. But if there is a strong correlation among the top porn-consuming states, I think the reason why is fairly obvious. When you live and grow up in an environment where you're taught that sex and sexuality are dirty, sinful, and something to be ashamed of, you'll naturally look for an outlet through which to express repressed sexual feelings. You can't fight biology forever, and the Internet is convenient, cheap, and non-judgmental. If, on the other hand, you're taught that you can freely express and discuss your desires without feeling abnormal, then it'll be easier to do so with another live person.

Stacey Campfield Needs A Date

This requires an analysis on multiple different levels:

Like most movies, the left takes a bunch of money from you, they will tell you a tale and will uses emotional rhetoric that leaves you temporarily excited about a smokey illusion up on a screen. The flashy car or the hero that runs through a hail of bullets without a scratch. The pretty girl who has no flaws. Occasionally it will be class warfare or trotting out the lone exception to the reality of an idea that is good for society 99.99% of the time. But like the illusion on the screen you can never seem to get hold of it. Even in 3-D you can reach out for it but it isn’t really there. It may be entertaining on the surface but in reality its not that realistic or well thought out. Not real.

Republicans on the other hand are what you have when the lights come up. Same steady boyfriend or girlfriend, a nice walk in the parking lot to the same solid car and back to work on Monday. Pay on the house, plan for retirement. We use facts, figures, solid ideas, plans and histories that let people draw their own solid steady conclusions as to what they really want to do and and where they want to go in life. It is not always as flashy as the big screen, the changes aren’t huge or fast, but they are real and measurable.

In Tennessee people may be entertained at the movies. They may even go back and see a sequel. But at the end of the night people want to kiss a real person. In Tennessee Republicans get the girl.

Analysis #1: Stacey Campfield does not have a date to the movies, because people generally prefer the fantasy to the reality. And this makes him quite sad. Come on conservative ladies, surely one of you finds a man who wants to take all your pesky burdensome rights away attractive!

Analysis #2: Movie ticket sales are up 17.5% from this time last year. Funny how people tend to flock to both the movies and to Democratic policies in hard times--both offer optimism in the future rather than the same tired talking points and cries of "socialism!"

Analysis #3: Tennessee Republicans get the girl? But wait, there are plenty of Republican women, including the Chairman herself (wow that sounds awkward to say). Do they get the girl too? If so, does that make them all lesbians? We certainly can't have that in Staceyland!

Analysis #4: It all depends on what the movie is. If the movie were, say, "The Passion of the Christ," I'm sure Campfield would have a great analogy comparing that movie to Republicans and the Romans to the Democrats.

Analysis #5: Republicans have not been that steady, reliable significant other for the last eight years. They didn't pay the bills, instead preferring to give that money to their BFFs and letting everything else that needed money go to waste. They didn't rely on solid facts and ideas, they relied on the Bible. Maybe Tennessee decided to take their ass back (because they couldn't afford to have less than two people paying rent in this economy), but everyone else in the rest of the country (they exist, you know) decided to take a new date to the movies.