Candidate Lightbulb Jokes

I was talking to someone earlier this week about our favorite lightbulb jokes. It got me wondering about what sort of lightbulb jokes you could do for the Presidential candidates. These probably aren't that good, but here you go:

The Dems:

-How many Obama supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
-None. If the lightbulb would just come and listen to Senator Obama speak sometime, it would be so inspired that it would change itself! After all, the lightbulb is just as sick of divisive partisan politics as everyone else!

-How many Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
-Two. One to cry about the burnt-out bulb until someone changes it for her, and one to simultaneously attack Obama for being inexperienced on light.

-How many Edwards supporters does it take?
-We don't know! The triangulating-centrist Democratic Party Establishment and the Corporate Mainstream Media are blacking out JRE and his light because they FEAR THE CHANGE that a new lightbulb would bring! ELITI$T$, all of them!!!

-How many Kucinich supporters does it take?
-Both of them.


The Republicans:

-How many Giuliani supporters does it take?
-The lightbulb changed forever on 9/11. Because of 9/11, the President must have full authority to wiretap all lightbulbs in this country. Doing so will help prevent another 9/11. Giuliani (who by the way was the Mayor of New York City during 9/11) saved a bunch of lightbulbs from going out on 9/11.

-How many Romney supporters does it take?
-Well, our opponents try to claim that Romney was liberal on light during his tenure as Governor of Massachusetts, but he has since had a COMPLETE change of heart and blah blah blah flip-flop.

-How many McCain supporters does it take?
-We don't know. They're still in shock over the fact that the lightbulb didn't go out in New Hampshire.

-How many Huckabee supporters does it take?
-Only One. Huckabee is the candidate of the Lord, and the Lord will change the lightbulb for him. Praise Jesus!

-How many Thompson supporters does it take?
-None. It's easier for them to take their naps when it's dark.

-How many Hunter supporters does it take?
-Both of them. But don't worry, they're willing to do it in order to prevent the illegal Mexican lightbulbs from coming into this country and stealing jobs from hardworking American lightbulbs.


And of course...

How many Ron Paulies does it take to change a lightbulb?
101. One to point out that it doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution that it is the responsibility of the federal government to change the lightbulb, and 100 to go repeat that point on every. single. damn. blog.

If you've got any better punchlines, please post them in the comments.

UPDATE: Two more punchlines for Clinton and Edwards:

How many Clinton supporters does it take?
What's your hurry to change the lightbulb? Can't you see? The lightbulb has experience, it doesn't need change (h/t Autoegocrat)

How many Edwards supporters does it take?
101. One to write a Daily Kos diary about how John Edwards is going to change the lightbulb by fighting it, and 100 to recommend the diary without even reading it just because it said "John Edwards" in the title.